‘Bizarre’ Racoons Attack Woman In Central Park

A woman strolling thru Central Park, near 59th Street, was attacked by two racoons she described as ‘bizarre’.

“It just seemed like they didn’t have a center of gravity. Their movements were very bizarre,” reported Taraka Larson, who ended up at St. Luke’s Roosevelt Hospital after the attack.

Central Park has a history of being ‘weird’, including UFO reports and bigfoot sightings.

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One thought on “‘Bizarre’ Racoons Attack Woman In Central Park

  1. Oh my word!!! The Devil of the greatness that is the kingdom of North Port has begun turning the animals against us. When we least expected the atmospheric beasts and big feet species will emerge to murder us all and humiliate us, killing us where we stand. We must begin a rebellion fleet to live in the seas with much food, water, and weapons. Then we wait. Huzzah I am Winston, John Winston.

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