Jesus Confirms Bigfoot's Hybrid Origin

Jesus Christ emailed us, confirming bigfoots hybrid status.

You may remember not long ago, Bigfoot Lunch Club asked “Is this Chimera theory going to gain momentum?” after a forum board poster claimed bigfoot was the product of Atlantians 800000 years ago crossing Grizzly Bears and humans and a article claimed bigfoot was an ape/human hybrid.

Well, I would say an email from Jesus counts as gaining momentum.

The Patterson-Gimlin film of Bigfoot that was made in 1967 is real. The NASI
said that the creature had both human and gorilla features. Bigfoot is a
human-primate hybrid. Half man and half gorilla. A man made creature that
was created several thousand years ago by men who were slaves that took off
and ended up in Africa. They caught female gorillas and had sex with them.
For all the skeptics out there, they were real men that had real sex with
real female gorillas. And nobody was wearing a costume at the time.

From Jesus Christ –

I also find it interesting that Jesus has an AOL account. It makes sense in a weird sort of way.

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4 thoughts on “Jesus Confirms Bigfoot's Hybrid Origin

  1. There are two things amazing about Jesus’s email. One that he got on soon enough to actually get “,” it might have been funnier if Jesus had to settle for The other amazing thing is that he kept the AOL account!

    Its a nice thought, to know I can just spam my prayers to heaven.

  2. Several thousand years ago there were thousands of slaves that ran off around the world and started their own countries. When these slaves ran off there was a large group of men and boys that took off and ended up in Africa. Some of them were giants as tall as 9 ft. or even taller. The giant named Goliath that David killed with his slingshot was 9 ft. tall. Some of these men and boys went exploring to Borneo and used ropes to catch female orangutans and took them to South America. They had sex with them and eventually created the Indians. The men and boys that stayed in Africa used ropes to catch female gorillas and had sex with them and eventually created the Africans. When scientists found the bones in Africa they thought we evolved naturally from a female chimpanzee. But it wasn’t a natural evolution it was a man made evolution. That’s where all the Bigfoot and Orangutan creatures come from. They are half man and half gorilla and half man and half orangutan. They use to call the Indians the red man. The orangutan has reddish hair. When those men bred out the hair the Indian’s skin remained red. The gorilla has black hair and skin. When those men bred out the hair the African’s skin remained black. Some of the Indians and Africans are tall and some of the Bigfoot and Orangutan creatures are tall. They are tall because some of the men that created them were tall. Some scientists believe that we evolved naturally from a female chimpanzee. Have you ever seen an 8 ft. tall chimpanzee? I haven’t either. Bigfoot migrated up through Africa and came into the United States at the top of Africa when they were connected by land. The Orangutan creatures migrated up through Central America and came into the United States like the Indians did later on. These creatures were able to migrate around the world because some of the land was connected at the time. The first Europeans that saw the Africans said that some of the African women had genitalia that resembled that of a gorilla. If you look at the nose of an African and Indian you will notice that it is wide and flat like the gorilla’s and orangutan’s nose. The North American Science Institute said that the creature in the Patterson-Gimlin film had both human and gorilla features. That’s because it is a human-gorilla hybrid. In the 1920’s some scientists in Orange Florida created a human-primate hybrid. One of the aging scientists told a student that they did create a human-primate hybrid. After a few days they destroyed it. The creature that Roger Patterson and Bob Gimlin filmed in 1967 was half man and half gorilla. Believe it or not, man created his own evolution. Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction.
    1900 – 1.6 Billion People,
    2011 – 6.9 Billion People,
    111 years – 5.3 Billion People,
    Solution to problem – Stop Creating Babies,
    The life you save just might be the one you don’t create.

  3. Oh , and let me guess..White people are from heaven , and everybody black or brown are from monkeys…but because of technology, you-all have made it so blacks look like normal people that no longer produce monkey genes. Thats just as retarded sounding as your RACIST/breakdown , trying to say that all brown and black people come from monkeys. When will you Racist realize that all you do with storys like these is expose yourself as the RACIST/devil that you are making it OBVIOUS to believe the opposite of your fairytale beliefs. You are the type of person that probaly read up on the truth about your white origin, and made it a point to mis guide people into believing bullshit, when in all reality, you whites are the reason for Hybrd genes , mating with animals during Greek and Roman days. Anybody that disbelieves that, can either visist or go to Greece and see artifacts of half man/woman , half animal. Oh but it you go to any parts of Africa, it dont exist. Here is proof _____ ….next time dont be so obvious DEVIL

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